My Very Own Diary

"My Very Own Diary"

I started a diary when I was 8 years old, a few days before my 9th birthday, and kept at it, off and on, until I was 12, with one single entry in the book from my first year of highschool. It's interesting to see what types of things strike a young person (this young person, anyway) as being important enough to write down. Notice that the only holiday mentioned in here is the 4th of July, though the point of the entry is what we bought in preparation for the day not a description of the actual event. I remember some of these incidents quite well; others are gone completely. I know most of the names in here, but not all, and I understand that most readers won't know any of these people. That's not the point. Just notice which names get repeated most often and try to guess my relationships to those people. The exciting thing here is how so few details can convey so much information. I was a much better writer back then. I knew how to hold back. I've kept all the spelling errors and most of the capitalization and punctuation intact. If something doesn't make sense, try to sound it out. That's what I was doing when I was writing it.

7-13-1981 I woke up and mommy Gave me this Diary. Then we playdd with Davids Air plane. Then I plade with Andy's Geep called Big Bronk. But first I coud'nt Shut this book! Then we whent over to Candises house and plade Two Games of Lawn Dawts. I won I. Me and Andy won The other.
7-14-1981 I plade 2 or 3 Games Of frisby And I broke Dave's Air playne.
7-15-1981 I stade at candises house Wile She did her paper Rout.
7-16-1981 I did The hole side of the paper rout.

1-1-1982 I whent to Dennis's house and played Astroids.
1-2-1982 I wached 9 to 5.
1-3-1982 I went to Lukes house and plaided Atory From 1 to 4.
1-4-1982 We got out at one at scool.
3-31-1982 I got my cards back.
4-1-1982 I played base ball at practis.
4-11-1982 We got Lazer Blast. And Me and Dave got a Knife. Andy got a harmonika.
4-12-1982 Mr. Fitch come to be our teacher for 3 Days. Andy got a Knife and a coat.
4-15-1982 We won our fist Baseball game.
4-18-1982 I shot a 22. We did a light brite.
4-19-1982 I got a pair of cleets.
4-24-1982 We won Woods Logging in Base Ball.
4-25-1982 I went to the Beech and lost my Kite and did not catch a fish or clam.
4-26-1982 We lost our game and Nita threw the bike on my foot.
4-27-1982 Today the school had a tallent show and Traci use a bitton. She was good.
4-28-1982 I went to Practes with David.
4-29-1982 We lost by 1 pount.
4-30-1982 Mom left for the cyack races and I got 15067 on Pac Man.
5-1-1982 I went to a boxxing mach and to spend the night at Goels house.
5-2-1982 We got back from the Boxing turnement and got back from Joels house.
5-3-1982 I went on patrol and Traci went too. Nita dident give me anything to eat.
5-4-1982 David got reported and lost his paseball game.
5-5-1982 We lost our baseball game and got out erly at school.
5-6-1982 Mr. Larson gave us 5 pages to do and Traci can't Potroll anymore.
5-7-1982 I spent the night at tresas.
5-8-1982 We lost by one Rich did not play and the coach protested.
5-9-1982 I shot a pistole and allmost whent fishing.
5-10-1982 I whent fishing and cought 3 fish and did not go to school.
5-11-1982 We won Woods by 6 pounts.
5-12-1982 I saw a Dr. Suess movie and I am making a rug.
5-13-1982 I kicked Traci in the face.
7-17-1982 I got a hellocopter.
*7-18-1982 I got a watch, some mags and whent to farils.
7-28-1982 Bobby and I were beating up Nikia and DJ and thier cosins. I got 4 Fire balls and 1 Fire Stick.

2-10-1983 We came in 2nd in basket ball on the Sonics.
2-24-1983 I cut Tracis pucture out of the paper. And we won our first hockey game.
7-18-1983 I had a bunch of freinds spend the night.
7-31-1983 We went to the beach and mom bought 3 Air matresses and a frisby.
8-1-1983 Grandma got back from Portland for good.
8-2-1983 I got ready to go to S.O. On Sat.
8-3-1983 Ronnie and I made Boo a cat house and Grandma has had third day back from Portland.
8-4-1983 We went to Gary's P. house then Erve's house, the Gary's the his Sister's then home.
8-5-1983 We went to the fair and me, Dave, Andy, and Ron got a Five Buck Braclet. I won a little lion and 2 little snakes and more.
8-6-1983 Today We were rolling cars into the reven and Terry got me the tap "Flying Smurf" for my viewmaster.
8-7-1983 We are stay at S.O. We are sleeping in a tent. Half Boys half girl. shanna to. It looks neat outside.
8-8-1983 Shane came back with us from S.O.
8-9-1983 Shane Pridicted that Dave would fall and he did. Me and Shane were taking vive's off people.
8-10-1983 I made some neat picture and broke alot of stick's.
8-11-1983 Grandpa died today at 11:00. Grandma L. came up almost all day and mom gave me a thing for my pictures.
8-12-1983 We made it to S.O. for Jake's f. tomaro. Peggy and Mike came to.
8-19-1983 We came back from S.O. With shane and his mom and dad.
8-22-1983 We went shoping for pants and underware and socks. Shane came with us.
8-24-1983 Grandma is spending the night.
8-25-1983 Mom got home from work ealy and was in a good mood.
8-26-1983 We saw Reture of the Jedi and then we whent to grandmas.
8-31-1983 Boo had Kittens. she had 4.
9-6-1983 School started and every thing was different from Last year.
9-22-1983 We had are pictures taken at school and Alicia wore a gray dress. We one owr first flag foot ball game 13 to 0.
9-23-1983 I am spending the night with Bryce and I hope I can go to Alicia's tomorro.

4-2-1984 Alicia, Wynne, and Alicia's friend were chasing Jeff, Tod, Kurt, Brian, Bryce, and I. It was a nice first day back from Spring Break.
4-3-1984 Today I took my autograph book to school. Lots of people signed it. Alicia gave me her phone # and her friends. Mom whent to Her Bridal shower at Teresas house.
4-4-1984 Today I was recording with Davids recorder. Cindy said Alicia liked me better than Josh. She also said she liked Mark K. insted of Kurt.
4-7-1984 Mom got married to Terry. There was a big reseption. We saw Shane. Teresa was going to take me to the R.H.P.S. in Port. Grandma said no.
4-8-1984 Mom left from Port. to Reno. Grandma is staying until Wen. We went to Bobs dads house and the arcade.
5-24-1984 It was the last night of Cispus and I danced the whole last dance with Mary. It was a slow dance. I got 2 kisses from Patty because I put a bandana around my leg.
5-25-1984 We got back to school and I shot a shot in the gym that made it when mom was there because I had my lucky bandana on.
5-26-1984 Ronny came down from S.O. I went to donny's birthday party. Yuck. I still have my bandana on.
7-2-1984 We got fireworks at Black Jack. Some peoples is try to shut down it. But when they took them to court Black Jack won (again). Only two days till the fourth.
9-7-1984 Dad took us up to Grap. Yates's house to ride our cycle. dad flipped it with Andy on. I rode a few wheels, and jumped to. We got home and watched wrestling.
9-8-1984 Dad took off for Cal. then to Sadi Ar. Terry Rented a movie player and four tapes. Soceress, Curupt, Swing Shift, and Revenge of the Ninja. I like Rev/Ninja the best.

9-24-1986 WENT TO SCHOOL. BORING AS Ever HEre in Longview. WanT TO Go back to Castle Rock this weekend.

A Walk in the Park

Richard F. Yates
“A Walk in the Park”
12 July 2010

“The myth that everything in the world can be rationally explained had been gaining ground since the time of Descartes. An inversion was necessary to restore the balance” (Hans Richter, Dada - Art and Anti-Art, p. 64).

You can’t have a party in the jungle without breaking a few eggs.

Never had I seen such misery, such mischief. It smelled, faintly, of cinnamon---and I felt compelled to fotograph it’s gritty underbelly.

Nothing lead me to this conclusion. Nothing mercuried, brassed, or silver-oxided me to it, either, but I came on bended knee and deposited seventy-five cents in nickels at its feet in tribute.

I protest your government---your cares and wants---your photos and advertisements and coupons. I’ll have none of it---excepting the chocolate milk, of course.

You’ve heard, perhaps, that I’ve a weakness for string-cheese. I assure you, the inoculations are painful, but they are working, and my tolerance to the substance grows by the day. I only fear, now, that coming mulberry dawn when the windows are wet with dew---and slightly moldy.

Undercover of bright search lights and glittering lightning bug pulses, he broke loose from his captives’ lair and drank his fill from the neighbors’ swimming pool next door.

I don’t like you much. You won’t pay me enough to validate your beliefs, and, therefore, I shant own the pinball machine that I want before the first flakes of winter begin to descend.

Wallow in my ignorance!

Mumbling caused the First World War.

I have no sympathy for the holes in your shoes. They are clearly a function of your perverse banking practices.

Lunch-time is an expression of the will of God---as long as we hold the pickles.

Never lick your fingers after shaking a stranger’s hand.

Construction of the castle began in 1941. It was completed in 1912, a full 3 years ahead of schedule.

PEN DEATH!!

We buried the old girl in the back yard next to two cats, a rat, and half a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich.

There are three reasons why I refuse to take politics seriously: (1) most people are too self absorbed and stupid to understand how their actions might affect the rest of the world---and I firmly believe that nothing I do can remedy this situation; (2) all politicians are people (see (1) above) as well as being liars, crooks, and (like all police officers) bullies who enjoy holding power over as many people as possible; and (3) by participating in any way in the political system, I feel as though I am not only endorsing that ridiculous joke, but I’m also, in some sense, validating it. In place of political action, I propose ART---acidic, confrontational, shocking, melodramatic, ridiculous, unfine, unreasonable, irrational ART, which forces those people who encounter it to wonder why it was created and what, if anything, it might mean.

Break the spokes
Rust the cogs
Salt the gardens
and Piss on the sacred grounds
and if anyone should ask:
“Why did you do that?”
answer them:
“Why indeed! This is a mystery that requires further investigation!”

The fantasy world (however dystopian) in which we all currently live was constructed out of lies, and few people today seem to poke their heads out of their electronic bubbles long enough to let their eyes adjust to natural light. We have been fed a constant stream of advertisement and pseudo-ethical propaganda, disguised as entertainment, for so long now that our search for ULTIMATE VALUES, that series of questions that each of us must ask of the universe (most unanswerable) that will help us to decide how we act and think and believe, comes not from our own earnest enquiry, but from media programming, a process that begins in our earliest youth and continues throughout our lives. We all know these things to be true:
*Believe in God and you will go to Heaven (where the streets are paved with gold.)
*Buy these products and you will be happy and loved.
*Follow the rules (except when you are expected to break them) and society will keep rolling along---progressing---saving lives and making the world a better, safer, and happier place.
*Try your hardest, and you can be anything you want to be.
*Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain---he’s just a harmless lobbyist helping to save the world.

It’s all bullshit.

I don’t care about Tom Cruise’s religion or Brad and Angelina’s marriage or Dick Chaney’s shotgun or the bloody glove in the SUV or Sarah Palin’s chest hair or that new rap song or those old Levi’s jeans or tea parties or CSI or oil leaks or tran-fats or anything. I hate it all. It’s boring. It’s not me. “It says nothing to me about my life.”

...which will be over before I’ve finished doing my thing—and then all the people who care about me or who like my writing or my paintings or my taste in music will all be gone, too---and then the sun will explode or a huge hunk of space rock will hit the earth or some super-bug will kill all the living things on the planet---AND WHO’S GONNA GIVE A SHIT THEN??

Not me. Certainly not the Martians living in their hidy-holes beneath their planet’s crust.

So...what the fuck do we bother doing until then? I don’t know. (I’ve been trying to decide that for way more than a week now. It’s exhausting.) It doesn’t matter, really, ultimately, anyway, but that doesn’t mean we should give up, does it?

I say: Have a glass of chocolate milk. Go dancing. Lay a wet one on your lover. Bake some cookies. Or just draw a picture. Who gives a fuck if it isn’t any good? Anyone who doesn’t like it is gonna die someday anyway, so fuck ‘em! If drawing that picture (or singing that song or writing that poem or doing that dance...) gives you joy, then take it while you can get it, and if it makes others smile when they look at it (whether they’re smiling with you or AT you doesn’t matter, either---see above) then that shit is worth doing.

AND if you believe any of this, I’ve got a bottle of Premium Quality SNAKE OIL I can let you have, REAL CHEAP! (It’ll get you HIGH!!! I guarantee it!!!)

And if it takes batteries to make you happy, then by God, use the damn batteries.

---So Sayeth the Supreme Bunny Warlord!

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